I LOVE THIS BIG FONT

Hehehe, so the audio tape teaches you words, and it gives you examples and conversations as it goes along.  Here’s one of the situations.

“Knowing that you are studying Japanese, she invites you to the Japanese club, where she belongs.”

I don’t know why I find this so funny. 

Learning Japanese through audio files.  If successful I have a bunch of other language files.  Will probably do Czech next.

So last night I found out that one of the gay guys who I met over spring break actually wanted to have sex with me.  He asked my friends if I they thought I would have sex with him.  Practically bugged the shit of of my friends.

None of my friends told me.  I don’t know if I would have but seriously, that’s showing some interest.  But now he’s in a relationship.

What the fuck, friends, what the fuck.

I’m sorry. :( I wish I could help.

No worries, change will happen soon enough.  I’m just hoping for the best.  A job would be nice so that I can get out of the house more.

I’m in need of change.

I’m home for the summer, (been home for 11 days now), and I can’t stand it.  My parents are homophobic racists and all they ever do is argue and complain.  They’re not happy people, and it doesn’t make me happy to be around them.

My mom get’s all pissy with me, and tells me that if I’m so unhappy here, then I should just leave.  And I want to…  but kinda selfishly, I need college to be paid for.  I don’t want to ask my dad if he’d still pay if I didn’t live at home, because if he wouldn’t, then he’d know that that’s the reason I’m staying home.  Who knows what could come of that.

My parents argued the other day in the car.  I was in the backseat with headphones in and I guess they didn’t think I could hear.  But they were arguing about their marriage.  What I got out from the whole conflict is that all my mom wants  is to be married to my dad again so she can be back under his insurance and not have to pay so many bills on her own.  She doesn’t have a job, and is making no effort to get one.  She didn’t come outright and say this, but the fact that getting remarried and being under his insurance was all she brought up, while my dad was trying to deal with the issues they actually face, such as the arguments they always have.  I don’t know, I feel like the whole thing is going to come crashing down again, but I don’t even care.  My mom has always been evil and manipulative in my eyes, so it’s no change.  My dad is too blind to see what’s happening, and from where I stand, I question if he deserves knowing.

I’m not sure what I’m doing, honestly.  But I don’t like where I am right now, and I need change.  It’s what I do, it’s what people should do.  When they don’t like where something is, they should do something to make things better, to change things.

My mom is trying to put a bandaid on her marriage so that she can do nothing for the rest of her life.  My dad is trying to fix their marriage so that they can be happy.  But even here, change is going to happen one way or another.  If things work out, my mom will be satisfied.  If they don’t, my dad will be free to be actually happy.

I wonder what sort of changes I need.  Aside from my living situation, I just don’t know. I think I need a boyfriend.

applied for a job

• application asks for email
• I write in an email without thinking
• realize after the fact that I combined two of my emails, creating an email that doesn’t actually exist
• has to go make an email so I can get messages
•  
• Fucking shit now I have to check three email accounts.

Random thought

When I was young I had an overactive imagination, and instead of having imaginary friends, I have imaginary everything else.  I had imaginary relatives, even.  Only an aunt and a cousin.  Who knows where the imaginary uncle was.

But yesterday, I had an epiphany.  Theimaginary cousin’s name was Joseph.

And that’s my random thought.

So, my Hunger Games

As I mentioned before, my college was doing this Hunger Games event.  There were 12 residential halls, so we had a boy and a girl from each hall as a tribute.  As people actually wanted to play, we gave everyone interested one free name in the drawing, and for every name you wanted to put in after that to increase your chances, you put in $0.25.  I ended up getting chosen for my hall, and thus became the male tribute for District 4.

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